The Kiss

The Kiss

The kiss was loaded

Filled with as much passion

As poison

Toxic and breathtaking

Cyanide to the soul

 

But isn’t that the beauty of serpents?

 Alluring us from our promised fidelity

Convincing us to leave

The only home we’ve known.

Promising Paradise

Delivering Nothing

But Paradise Lost

 

 Predictable, really

 When I stopped to look back

At my former home                 

Only its reflection mirrored

In the glint of angelic blades

remained

 

O’ Prodigal me

I took for a Paramour

a Serpent

 

Bruised and bloodied

By the Kiss that promised so much

But only left vapors  of

The  retreating Presence

Of the  Ru’ach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit)

The Kiss

Paltry and anemic now

In the light of  the loss

Of completeness - of Shalom

For a few seconds of

pleasure beneath a broad-leaf

tree

True Satisfaction

When my soul seems to be eating itself

Consuming its very marrow and fat

I look up and view Your sweet face

 

Cleft in twain, bloody and bruised

My heart lies at your feet

You put it together, again

Holding it,

Pumping Your own lifeblood into its valves

You offer my soul, the Peace of

Your Presence

You satisfy my hunger

With good things

So that my youth is renewed

Like the eagle’s

 

Whether feast or famine,

You remain present

Offering milk and wine

Without price

Your body the very

Bread of life

 

The gnawing on brittle bones

Trying to suck substance

From what will never

Satisfy 

I leave it behind,

And run hard after

You

Your Love Never Fails -Chris Quilala / Jesus Culture

Day 5- The White House

Is this white house a metaphor for my love, stained and empty? There are no occupants- just a futile testimony of what could have been.  When I first walked this hill, I thought nothing of what God could do, but what I would lose. When God brought two friends to visit me, they talked about accountability: accountability for my emotions and my promise to be faithful.  Negative emotions assailed me; how could I be free of frustration, disappointment, and sadness?  How can I sit in this empty house filled with just me? If I can't keep covenant with friends, family, how can God trust me with even a greater gift? If I can't be trustworthy, I may just sit alone for quite some time until I learn the lesson.

Like the abandoned building, empty without residents, is any relationship without love. People often love to quote Ruth's words to Naomi, but covenant-loyalty is hard. For better or worse, in sickness and health, till death do us part. What is covenant loyalty? When people get married, they expect sunrises and blue skies, not the sun beating down on their heads. The dusty roads dirty our feet- our sweat-stained garments testament to our suffering. Ruth, gathered all her courage, and headed down the hilly road to Bethlehem. Even when Naomi threw her faith aside,  Ruth remained faithful.

Covenant can only be made through sacrifice.  In the Old Testament, the breaking of a covenant was death. When people 'cut covenant,' they literally walked between the slain bodies of the sacrifice, symbolically declaring may my life be as these, if I break my covenant. In Genesis 15:9, God instructs Abraham to, "Take me an heifer of three years old, and a she goat of three years old, and a ram of three years old, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon."When he brought the animals, God instructed him to cut them in two in the middle except the birds." Because the promise was so great for Abraham and his descendants, God walked between the sacrifice and 'cut covenant' by Himself. In Jeremiah 34:17, the Lord declares that, "Ye have not hearkened unto me, in proclaiming liberty, everyone to his brother, and every man to his neighbor: behold, I proclaim a liberty for you, saith the LORD[;] I will give the men that have transgressed my covenant, which have not performed the words of the covenant which they had made before me, when they cut the calf in twain, and passed between the parts thereof, and walked out that covenant." God takes covenant seriously; even the New Testament (Matt. 5:37; James 5:12) deals with vows; we are instructed to let our 'yes' by 'yes' and our 'no' be 'no'- that anything else is sin. We are instructed not make vows rashly.  Something to chew on.

Ruth's covenant was not spoken lightly, with little regard for her promise. I wonder when we promise to love, honor, and obey God just how serious we actually are? Do we consider our vows life-long covenants to our families? Thankfully, Ruth did.  As a result of her covenant obedience, from her womb came the ancestors of Y'shua.

Signing off,
M.J.

Day 4- "The Ruth Factor"

Faithful in the quiet and the small, the very things we continue to pour out, while we wait

It often takes what we must desperately need ourselves to help someone else. The patience, kindness, and forgiveness, we want, is what God asks us to give to others. Just like Ruth did for Naomi, we pour our spiritual grain into another's lap. This kind of spiritual supply comes from being in Jesus’ presence, meditation and contemplation of the Word, and intercession. Minter notes, “ I’ve also decided that blessing so big we can hardly carry them get stored up for us there –often so we can carry them to the bitter, empty, and hungry” (Minter 111).

God sometimes asks us to spread our wings over someone. So many times we act like the next-of-kin who refuses to redeem Ruth or Orpah who returned to Moab. We don’t want to lose our inheritance on someone else. We have own needs to be met.   To rise up an heir for someone else like Boaz did for Naomi’s dead son is extraordinary self-less and Christ-like. I make a transaction. I exchange my rights and freedom to redeem another from hell.

In the end, God gives Ruth what she walked away from-- a home, a mate, and child, and in the process, she blesses Naomi. Ruth is accepted as a Jew and becomes an ancestor in the lineage of Jesus.  Her perseverance and integrity led to greater blessings and unleashed new seasons of harvest in her life. Naomi looked at her lack and saw that she had nothing to offer Ruth. God saw past that to the truth and the plan that He had to redeem both of them. God took Ruth from the fields to become the wife of the owner of the fields. From less than a servant, she became the mistress of the household. Do you feel like an outsider, but God is asking you to be a bridge-maker? It is hard I know. Imagine being single, African-American, and Christian, working with Hasidic Jews. I did that for four years.  Can we hold out long enough to see God’s promises fulfilled?

Signing off,

M.J.

Day 3 No Place to Stand

Ruth had no standing as Moabitess; in fact, Moabites were excluded from the assembly of Jews by law. Her position as a foreigner made her situation even more precarious. Still, Ruth exhibited humility, working and providing for Naomi. She was not too proud to do a difficult day’s work gleaning the barley fields of the fallen grain from the ground.  She then took this hard-earned provision home to Naomi.

Exacerbating her financial and emotional problems was the fact that Ruth was vulnerable and unprotected as a foreigner. She appeared helpless, but God protected and defended her through Boaz..... Ruth was brave beyond measure, moving past her pain and loss to build relationships in her enemies’ land. She sacrificed and remained faithful. God caused her obedience to multiply ,and God gave her a greater harvest and redemption. While Ruth worked, the fieldhands dropped grain on purpose. God made the provision for her thorugh someone else.  Difficult step after difficult step, God leads us. “How precious is your unfailing love?  All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of you wings” (Psalm 36:7) - that includes the widow, the orphan, and the foreigner- all the classes that Ruth represented.

Many people imagine themselves leading, but not serving. Jesus said he who would be a leader must be the servant of all (Matthew 23:11-12). Before returning to Texas, I taught at the top rank private college in the country. I needed to lower my self-estimation.  God promises to give grace to the humble (James 4:6, 10); yet, He opposes the proud but favors the humble (1 Peter 5: 5-6). By teaching at a public school, I learned humility. I can know see my service as a gift, not a burden.

Jesus humbled himself looking  past the shame of the cross to the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2).  As I examine how God changed me, I realize that He lifted me from the morass of pride. God works his character in us through trials.  Before teaching public high school, I was seeking my own kingdom. I was set up to publish both my dissertation and my poetry. Eventually, I counted like Paul, all  this as so much  rubbish for the surpassing knowledge of knowing Christ.

We feel if we obey, if we go past our walled cities, God must do this or that.   Being patient with the fulfillment  of a promise can be as hard as the labor itself. Ruth humbled herself by lying at Boaz’s feet. Humility and vulnerability are not the easiest things in the world.  Waiting on someone else’s response, especially if that person is in sin, is difficult. We can get stuck looking at the person, instead of God. We can become angry. Obedience to God feels like a risk. Surrender of our walls is scary, but freeing (Matthew 10:39). Jesus reminds us, ‘If you cling to your life, you will lose. If you lose it, you will gain it.” Lord, help me to rest under your wings even if it takes a long time to complete your purposes toward me.

Signing off,

M.J.

P.S.
Philippians 2: 3-1 encourages us, “Don’t be selfish. Don’t try to impress others. Be Humble. Thinking of others as better than youself. “

5 Days with Ruth

Day 1

What I learned from Ruth

There is a small book in the Old Testament after the grand history of the book of Judges. It tells the story of two single women and their difficult travails. That God draws our attention to see seemingly unimportant people is remarkable. Ruth, boy, I can relate to her hard walk from Moab to Bethlehem.  Being a single female, widowed in fact, and childless in a male-dominated culture that valued women only as reproducers, meant that Ruth's value in the eyes of her contemporaries was not great.  All she had was a bitter mother-in-law Naomi. She had left her family, culture, and even her gods. She had attached herself to someone who was embittered and even disconnected from the God of the universe. She was the surrogate life-line of faith and hope for a despondent woman who had in her opinion every right to be bitter. No longer “pleasant,” Naomi wanted to be known as Mara or “bitter.” We are left understanding at times we are called to love ‘bitter people,’ ‘ stuck people,’ and help them walk a path to God when they can’t even have the faith to do so.  Kelly Minter’s devotional on the life of Ruth became my main stay in the weeks before and during my trip to Brazil. She talks about weeping forward; the fact remains, we are all going to weep, but we should try to weep forward into our future, not backwards, into past.

Sometimes, like Naomi, we flee home- we willing leave the place of provision (she left Bethlehem- the house of Bread) for what seems to be better. In a season of trial and famine, it seems we rely on ourselves, rather than God. Minter states, “Escaping to easier terrain is all too tempting when we’re weary in hardship” (Minter 140).  I understand.   Although Galatians 6:9 encourages us not to grow weary in well-doing we for we will reap if we faint not,” frustration, despair, and hopelessness make us want to give up. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but it achieves a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who are trained by it (Hebrews 11:24-26). A choice of venue does not change us.  In essence, we should not be governed by or circumstances but the God of our circumstances. Warren Wiersbs states, “How sad it is when people only hear about God’s blessing, but never experience it, because they are not in the place where God can bless them.”

That’s enough heavy for today.

Signing off,

M.J.

The Return (Teshuva or Repentance)

Day 2

Walking like Ruth

Eventually, they return to Bethlehem- the house of bread –  to provision . . . to Jehovah-Jireh who is always our provider. When repentance happens, like Naomi’s return, the city is stirred. This is always the mark of salvation coming to town- there is great joy in the city. Goodness produces stirrings in the spirit  (Ruth 1:19). While there, Ruth exhibits a covenant loyalty which God has called me to. In this season, I am standing with a family that requires that kind of loyalty which at times is hard to give. I am tempted to be like Orpah and return to my own family- with their list of dysfunctions and pains- their known problems and sins, but I am called to stand with this family. 

How do you persevere through difficulties and obstacles? “A long obedience in the same direction is hard,” according to Friedrich Nietzsche. Like the threesome,  Orpah, Ruth, and Naomi, I weep. I am often crushed by the pain of walking through trials with someone else.  Yet, the wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy. Naomi blames God for making her life bitter. She states, that, “I went away full and came back empty; God has afflicted me. He has brought me misfortune” (Ruth 1: 21). My question is, “If she were full, why did she leave?” Yet, Ruth states empathetically to Naomi, “Don’t urge me to leave you or turn back from you (It means to literally: do not make me repent of my affection for you). Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my god. Where you die I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me” (Ruth  1:16-17). This statement was given during a period of much loss, difficulty, and pain for Ruth. The Lord knows that He has asked a hard thing of us; knowing He knows makes it easier. At the proper time, we will reap. We go forth weeping and casting seed according Psalm 126:1 and return with the harvest, the sheaths, with joy “(v.5). God is purposeful, “He carves our paths, authors each stroke, and weaves our courses into other’s lives” (Minter 51). May we reap the fruitful harvest of being formed in the image of Christ!

Signing off,

M.J.