Where is God in this Soup of Mess?

What do we do with a God that we don't understand. Duress, testing, hardship, and challenges come. One dear sister cried out that it is all too much; God is asking too much. I understand. After fighting severe anemia for months, I learned that the root of the problem lay in fibroid tumors. I still desire to have children, so quite a few questions begin looming largely in my heart. What is God up to- I mean what He is expecting me to do with this situation. Wait and trust: the two hardest words when we are in pain.

"This is what the Almighty LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: You can be saved by returning to me. You can have rest. You can be strong by being quiet and by trusting me. But you don't want that" (Isa. 30:15).

Wait and trust. God already knows what is in my heart and yours. Tests come to prove our mettle. So, when I fell my bike and slashed my knee open the same week, my first thought was how the blood loss would affect my anemia. Affect it, it certainly did and not positively. When problems pile up us, it is human to think that we are alone. Where is God in all of this? But God iterates the message of wait and trust:

In this 'soup of mess,' a dear friend, who is facing her own emotional and physical struggles wrote this to me (I send it now to you):

"How is your heart? And how hard is the struggle to believe God for His supernatural care of you overall? O,_______ (fill in your name), He loves you SO MUCH!!! I am here . . . feeling the waves of love He has for you and it is beautiful and powerful. And I do mean power-full. He wants you to know that you are His precious daughter [or son] and that He takes great delight in you. He is your papa, your daddy, your Abba, your father... He is all of it and His loving arms are around you in this time where you have boo-boos.

I know how I feel when one of my little ones comes to me crying because she has boo-boos and is bleeding and I assure you it is intense. Now, let's multiply that by an unimaginable factor and still realize we will come up seriously short to even grasping how much fatherly compassion He has for you, his baby. He loves you and there is power in this love. Sink into His arms and let the healing continue until it is complete.

His love will make you well. I do not know how this looks but I believe this is His promise for you. "



Trusting and Waiting,
M.J.

P.S.  Do a concordance search for the words trust and rest. There are some real gems in God's Word.

Psalm 46: 1-5
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

Trials and Mayhem: A Conversation

All of us have heard the expression, "when it rains, it pours." When I arrived from Nicaragua, I promptly contracted an eye infection after trying to remove a contact that was no longer in my eye. I scratched my cornea badly. Acrimony often follows painful events; I am glad to say that was not the case for me- at least on that occasion. Part of my peace came from discerning the season  in which I am.   The other part came from knowing that nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8:32). Meditate on these scriptures:

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens: 
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, 
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, 
a time for war and a time for peace.

Stop for a moment and ask God in which season are you. I pray that knowing the season will give you a measure peace in your storm. Remember, Y'Shua is still in your boat.

Questioning and listening too,
M.J.

EYE Candy

When we think about the person we want to marry, is it the outer appearance or their inner beauty we crave? I have a friend who is newly married; the troubles he had with his wife before marriage have recently resurfaced. Both are believers, although one wonders, given the conduct they  have recently exhibited.

You see before marriage, his wife had a problem with fidelity; marriage does not stop that problem, sanctification does. Or take another person whose husband struggles with anger; the roots of his anger weren't dealt with before marriage, and so they are coming up again, but this time focused on his children.

I call it the Eye Candy syndrome. The person looks good on the outside, but the inside is really not 'put together at all.' Oh, that amber-eyed long-lashed doll looks good on your arm, but her propensity to overspend and inability to take correction, well, those are matters of the heart.

When God was looking to replace the tall impressive Saul as king, he told Samuel these words: "But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (I Samuel 16:7). Thus, God chose a stinky, ruddy shepherd-boy whose heart was wholly His to be king over His people. Hmm, matters of the heart are close to God's heart and appear to be His only agenda.

See Eye Candy looks good, but there is no substance. So when I need stability, maturity, and integrity,  I won't find it there. When I need someone to move in the opposite spirit and forgive, take the first step in reconciliation, Eye Candy simply can't.

These notions have made me stop and ponder if I really want to marry. Because I simply can not imagine giving up the freedom of serving God without the nuisance of  Eye Candy on my arm. Sure, Eye Candy is good to look at, but what about, when I need something real and satisfying such as a piece of good fruit. You know like, "love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23).

Some of us can not say like Paul, ^"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me" (I Cor. 13:11) Actually, we still, "see only a reflection as in a mirror, and we know only in part" (v.12). See, we can have faith that God is going to change the person, and we can hope all we want, but only love remains  (v.13).  Love is sacrificial, is able to admit when wrong, and is forgiving. Eye Candy simply can't do that. Eye Candy is unwilling to die to her/his flesh. Eye Candy is unwilling to submit to Holy Ghost's teaching and redirection. In fact, s/he can't: "For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you would. But if you are led by the Spirit you are not under the law" (Galatians 5:16-18).


As I look in the mirror of self-reflection, I take out a mental pen and go down this checklist to make sure  I am not simply tasty Eye Candy: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres Love never fails." (1 Cor. 13:4-8).

 

 
We know what true love looks like: His name is Y'Shua.  Just like you, I am still learning how to daily reflect Him to others.
 
Yours truly,
M.J.

Do You Love Me More Than These?

H. is not a closet gay, but a brilliant mariposa or butterfly who flies under the wings of a spirit contrary to the Spirit of God. Yet, God orchestrated our meeting. On the last day of our Bible outreach in Nicaragua, I saw a man dressed as a woman, who had obviously been injured. I wanted to minister to him, but I felt that I must first relay that information to the team leader. When I returned to the spot where I had last seen the man, he was gone.

When the team returned to the base for lunch, I shared the encounter with one of the base leaders. He told me then about H., the man who basically controlled the barrio's gay population. When I asked if H. were pretty, the leader stopped, pondered a moment, and resolutely concluded with a resounding, "No!" His facial expression and tone of voice somehow struck my funny-bone, but I stopped laughing when Holy Spirit told me I was to minister to the man. Oops!

Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My lambs."
John 21:15

Well, my laughter would turn to tears, as I and a base member, went to the man's home. I could immediately so that the man was oppressed by the devil. I began praying for him in Spanish, moved to English, and concluded in my prayer language. But, first I asked him what he believed about Jesus: "Was Jesus merely a good person or the Son of God?" He responded that he believed that Jesus was the Son of God. I then replied that "What you are saying then is that you love your sin more than Jesus."' He responded with "Si" or "Yes!' I told him that my prayer would be that he would love Jesus more and that God would make him a would greater influence for good than he had been for evil. When I returned to the base, my friend continued in earnest intercession for H. and for God's transformation. He needs a spiritual metamorphosis to become all God has of Him. I pray that his confession will be like that of the Apostle Paul's:

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen" (I Timothy 1:15-17).

Sometimes, it is easy to forget where God has brought us from. I can become complacent about the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit somehow believing I have improved myself. Meeting H. reminded me that if God had not reached down to lift me from the miry clay, I would have remained forever ensnared.



The barrio or neighborhood where H. resides.

 I can still see H.'s face as God daily reminds me to pray for him. I have the same question for you and me: "Do I love Jesus more than I love my _______ (you fill in the blank). Given everything God has done to redeem us, I pray that my answer and your answer is yes.

Amante de Cristo,
M.J.

Who Am I?

I am resilient

I am tenacity

I Am persistent

I defy paucity

I am remarkable

I am covered

I am unstoppable

I am shielded

I AM beLoved

I am Notable

I am esteemed

I am Laudable

I am precious

I am valuable

I am Audacious

I am irreplaceable

I am Carried

I am visionary

I am bundled

I am luminary

I am prophetic

I am promise

I am heroic

I am ___________________(your name)

I am halting

I am limping

But I am still climbing

I am still giving

8-8-11

Dancer

Dancer

7-23-11

A Dancer Feels things in her toes

It sort of curls up from the tips and toenails

And reaches like fingers massaging

 To the ankles

To be a dancer is to feel the beat

And hum of things

 With the soul of your feet

Like a drummer moves his fingers

along an invisible Djembe

so a dancer hears

the mute buzz of the beats’ undercurrent

 the unsung song

- my feet long to dance again,
MJ

Wounds

When do wounds become beautiful?

When they are birth-wounds?

When they are death-wounds?

When do wounds become beautiful?

Are wounds beautiful when wrought by a friend?

Are wounds beautiful only after they heal?

Are wounds beautiful because of the One who bore them?

Are wounds beautiful because they are humble-healing?

If wounds are beautiful, we do we hide them?

If wounds are beautiful, why are we so ashamed?

If wounds are necessary, why cover the scar?

If wounds are necessary, let us be truly who we are.

Wounds are testimony.

Wounds are the artifact.

Wounds are God’s cooling touch.

Wounds reveal our lack.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds
we are healed. Isaiah 53:5


From one recently wounded,
M.J.

Skilled Hands

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners" Isaiah 61:1

In order for someone to be healed, the process can not be rushed. Today, I was riding along looking  at waterlilies in the lake at the state park, when suddenly I was on the ground.  Life is like that, you know. You're going along and bam, you're on your backside. I fell off my bicycle and sliced my knee opened. The wound required over fifty stitches.

I believe God allowed me to experience both wounding and sewing because He has called me to bind up the hearts of young girls internationally, figuratively to sew up their wounds- spiritually and emotionally. See, I have a vision of opening an all-girls visual and performing arts school near Mt. Carmel, in Israel. But, I needed to understand what it means to be sewn back together. Since, "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"( Romans 8:28), I believe God will use this event for his divine preparatory purposes.

With a wound, such as the one I received, a great deal of blood was lost. Because I suffer anemia, there was legitimate concern about fatigue and weakness. Much like a physical wound, an emotional  one can drain your life's energy and cross-contaminate everything around it. That is why a wound must be cleansed and decontaminated. Everything must be sterile, including the physician's hands. At the hospital today, there was a litany of  cleaning rituals including washing utensils, applying disinfectant, and discarding soiled items. Meditate on these scriptures about purity and cleanliness.

I Timothy 2:8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

---

2 Samuel 22:21 "The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
Job 17:9 Nevertheless, the righteous will hold to their ways, and those with clean hands will grow stronger.
Job 22:30 He will deliver even one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.

 In other words, purity and cleanness matters to God; it determines if He can fight on our behalf.
Since I have never had stitches, I did not realize what that procedures required. With my injury today, I understand the process better. The wound must first be irrigated with a saline solution. The doctor then used gauze to clean the wound and inhibit bleeding.  In the same way, God uses His Word to irrigate our hearts with His Word: "Cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Ephesians 5:25-27).

Then, the doctor deadened the pain with an injection directly to the site. After deadening the site, he began sewing the interior of the knee together- muscle and sinew.Then, he began to sew the skin back together-even small scraps. The doctor stitched the skin back on to my knee like needlepoint- careful, diligent, and meticulous.  He told me that the small piece would fall off after dying and be replaced with new sin. You see that too is part of the healing process; something has to die to be born again. That is the hard part. God has given us a dream, and sometimes, that dream has to die, to birth something better. Think about it- the nation of Israel wanted a reigning Messiah, that Messiah did not come to them. Instead, Messiah Y'Shua died, but when He returns, He will return as the King of David, the Lion of Judah, not the Lamb who was Slain.


Lastly, the doctor applied the bandages and bound them with tape. God promises in Psalm 147 to bandage our wounds. He binds our wounds so that they will not be infected, but rather healed. He covers our spirits with the seal of the Holy Spirit to keep contaminates out and allow His Spirit to heal us (2 Corinthians 1:22).


God is the ultimate surgeon. He binds up our wounds; He bandages them. He carries us close to his heart, with our wounds, till we are healed. When we are wounded, our hearts are drawn close to God; we heal as He holds to His heart. I know that I am closer to God  in my pain.

I pray that God will use me as His skilled hands to bring healing to the nations- to make a girls brigade of healed warriors. If you want to know more about this project, leave a comment in the box on the blog page or contact me at chutzpahgirl@gmail.com

The Great Physician's Fastidious Seamstress In-Training,
M.J.

---

---

Africa 102 - music and narration

Africa 101

Adventures in Nicaragua