Refiner's Part II

God has two functions in the refinement process of rejection: to increase my love-walk and decrease my fear. Yes, God was refining me through the rejection that I have experienced, but God also was refining the people involved too, although they may not have realized it. There are usually two dancers in a tango, but in a spiritual dance, there are three counting God. Think about the fact that God used Stephen's death to lead to Paul's conversion.

Although I had to choose to wrestle through my disappointment, I never considered climbing back into Abba's arms for a time-out from the body of Christ. Instead, I talked to a wise counselor and poured out my heart. She assured me that I was being promoted. I don't quite like how promotion feels. Oh well. But, I do so love God, and I am gaining His heart for his children, my spiritual siblings.

I want to say that I am a person who can't be cut or wounded, but that would be a lie. Yet, I desperately want to be Christ-like and forgive those who wound me because they are not aware of what they do. I want to be like Jesus who cried, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:24). Or Stephen who asked that God not count his assailants' sin to their account as he was being stoned: "Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep" (Acts 7:60).
Stephen had his eyes on Jesus. It was the same for the prophet Isaiah. He only recognized the Lord in the year that King Uzziah died (Isaiah 6:1). God had been speaking that scripture to me. I needed to get my eyes off the people, my kings, and rest in God.  It is natural to want to be loved and accepted, but when I get my eyes off of God, I have made that person an idol.Whatever I do, I must do it unto the Lord.

I bless God that I did not run from these people or question God's goodness. God's nature is good, and even though I don't understand it, He obviously has a greater purpose in my suffering. As I got quiet, I sensed growth in me, but I recognized a deeper need to trust Jesus in people-trust that God is perfecting them and me. I want to shout with Mary:

My soul glorifies the Lord

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has been mindful

of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed,

for the Mighty One has done great things for me—

holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,

from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;

he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts

Luke 1:46-52

Being Refined,

MJ