Women's Issues Part III and Part IV

 

Part III- Sacrifice Whatever the Cost

Jesus moved past His fatigue, hunger, and emotional distress to treat women with respect. There was nothing chauvinist about His behavior. When He allowed the so-called immoral woman to wash His feet with her tears and hair, it was not sensual. It was a divine romance of a different sort, for out of brokenness, her restoration and healing flowed as she worshipped Him despite the palpable disapproval of old boys club. That is exactly what we must do, press into knowing Jesus, no matter the obstacle or public opinion. The woman who poured her life’s savings upon the Saviors feet did not lose it, for to this day the story is told of her extravagant worship. So, we too, as women when we pour life’s blood for the kingdom, it is not lost.

 

Jesus noticed the widow’s offering of two mites, the least offered, or it seemed so to those lacking spiritual eyes. But, Jesus looked at her heart and recognized the wealth that she had poured out in that offering. He too recognizes your sacrifice for His kingdom and He is grateful.

Even in the depths of pain and despair, Jesus focuses on women: this time, His mother. He makes sure that after His death that her care is assured. He passes on the responsibility of the eldest son to a devoted believer, John, since at that time none of his own brothers were His followers.

Part IV- Who are We?

Everywhere He went, He honored women, rather his mother or not. In fact, He says something so revolutionary that His own family thought Him mad: He asks who is  his mother, brother, or sister? His sensational answer: He who does the will of my father. With this one statement, He broke ages of sexism. We don’t need to wait for the Book of Galatians for Paul to say there is neither male, nor female, Jew or Greek. Jesus disposed of these categories and their burdens right then and there. And since, He is the very word of God- Emet. We can take Him as his Word.

Jesus had no problems with business women either. They financed his ministry, provided him with a safe place to stay, and fed him. Heck, even the First Church was financed by women such as Lydia.

We are the compassionate ones. We are the hopeful ones.  Mary Magdalene got to the tomb first and came ready to serve to boot. She was the one commissioned by the angel to go to the disciples, who were cowering in a deep dark cell somewhere, and tell them that Jesus had risen just as He promised. Jesus comforts her when she thinks that someone has stolen His body, and then, He personally commissions to share the gospel. Who received the honor of touching Jesus before His ascension? None but a woman. Who had the honor of bringing him into the world? None but a woman. “Man ain’t had nothing to do with Him,”  as Sojourner Truth famously quipped.

Jesus celebrates our life events. He makes time for marriages and funerals. He toasts L’Chaim to all special moments for He has written and orchestrated them for in advance. So, if you feel forgotten, ignored, disdained, rejected, or alone, Jesus knows how to love you truly in the midst of bereavement, sorrow, loneliness, and despair. Please give Him a try.


Unashamed to be a Woman,
Mella

 

 

 

 

A Different Ending

Paul  imagined himself the greatest of sinners, provoking the very mercy of God. He, a ruthless murderer, devout reprobate, who vandalized the name of God's beloved Son knew that he, of all people, deserved God's judgment, not His mercy. But here he was, a piece of parchment, in the hands of the Master being shaped into a love letter to the nations, speaking of God's continual grace and unearned  and boundless mercy. Only one so vile even in his own estimation could adequately appreciate the awesome gift of God's unconditional love. He resolutely declares,

For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.  But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.  Whether, then, it is I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed (I Corinthians 15:9-11).

No unsteady tremble in his voice, no quacking hesitation, this same man boldly declares that nothing can separate us from God's love. Limits do not exist. Using the rhetorical device of a meriah, he juxtaposes the extremes of two ends of the spectrum: a literal contrast that by their dimensions suggests all that remains in their in-between: height/depth; life/death/ angels and depths are counterpoised:

 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).

in the same vein, concentration camp survivor Corrie ten Boom exults, "there is not pit that God's love is not deeper still." Nothing in all of creation can unravel God's love for us when we just can not see the other side of the pain yet.  Rejected and blind, George Matheson wrote these word, "O love that will not let me go. I rest my weary soul in thee. I give the back the life I owe That in thine ocean depths its flow may richer fuller be."

What will the Hand pen? Pain, loss, peace, joy? It is in yielding the pen to the Great Scribe that best story is ever written. Few of us would worry if Charles Dickens or Shakespeare aspired to write the tale of our lives, but we are want to allow the Greatest Author to write His story over our lives. The Apostle Paul trusted God to rewrite the abysmal tale of his life and what a story God wrote. One full of tragedy and pain, but exultant with triumph and grace."For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them "(Ephesians 2:10).

Most of us have heard the statement,"Don't put a period where God has placed a comma."
We know that a period ends a statement, a paragraph, or is the final thought of a lengthy treatise. The comma is a mere pause, a breath, a rhetorical function that can be a contradiction to a  prior conceived idea. How many times has life handed you an however, ? More is to follow where you thought it might simply end. Paul's life was such an example, the man who sent Christians to their deaths and left children orphans, God chose to be a spokesman to the Gentiles- the goyim to share the glory of the Messiah.


God knows who needs the second chance; where I have placed a period, he makes it into a conjunctive adverb and a comma: However, Jesus.... Despite,  the crowd with stones in their hands, Jesus bent down and wrote on the ground. Just as He did for Paul, He gives us second chances and encourages us to the same.

Always in need of the Second Chance,
MJ

Bee-Resilient Part II

I will allow the experts to explain the exact science of the miraculous bee: As these exotic wings change directions, according to Dickinson, even more vortices are added by the rotation of the wing literally flipping over in a 90˚ arc. Using its wings as a propeller with a rotating blade, the bee's wing also flaps "back into its own wake, which leads to higher forces than flapping in still air. Lastly, there is another peculiar force known as "added-mass force" which peaks at the ends of each stroke and is related to acceleration as the wings' direction changes (Phillips 2005).

Two things are involved in how the bee moves its wings: it creates its own unique dance; it does not attempt to move its wings like a hummingbird because it would surely remain earthbound. Secondly, it is constantly moving dimensionally in width and length (arc) and willing exposing its underside to get greater force. Two lessons should leap from the page: don’t do what everyone else does; do what works for you even if it looks strange. You may have to work harder to achieve success, but work it. In addition, expose yourself to criticism, ridicule; spit in fear’s face as you turn yourself upside down to be able to lift off the ground. Sure, you are exposed, but once you achieve lift, no one can touch you. It seems effort seems to be like a great deal of work to defy nature, but one only needs to consider what bees do for us once they are in the air to see it is worth all the effort. Bees pollinates flowers which take in our carbon dioxide and release needed oxygen, and they also produce something awfully sweet and beneficial in honey, (which I use to help me combat allergies).

The Secret of the Bee: Bee Resilient- Part I

No one seems to understand how he does it- gets his fat little body off the ground. His wings are too short and his body too heavy, but no naysayers can stop the bee's flight. I want to be like this small, seemingly insignificant insect. When everything in my universe, including my internal and external makeup screams to quit and to give up, I want to rise up like the bumble bee. Hebrews 12:1 tells us “since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” That is what I call resiliency, and for my twenty years in education, I have attempted to model and teach it to my students. Whether demanding excellence, critical thinking, or service, the goal was the same: go beyond what your environment and the people in it have told you is possible.

According to the New Scientist article, "The Flight of Bees," some aeronautical engineers and scientists set out to prove that the bumble bee really can't fly. One insect flight expert, Michael Dickinson, and his colleagues at Caltech, decided to investigate the actual forces at work during the insect's leap into the heavens. Scientists already knew that vortices rolling over the insect's wingspan gave it lift, but what they did not realize was how this phenomenon could explain how so heavy an object could lift itself off the ground with such short wings. In that miracle of lift lies a lesson of resiliency for humans. Sounds a lot like us. We look at family's origin, lack of credentials, abuse, divorce, learning disabilities, and all those things that weigh us down and already we feel too heavy to get off the ground. Then we look at our spiritual life and maybe our faith in God- how on earth will these little wings give us the lift we need above the mountains of problems which face us? But, we fail to realize is that there are great exotic forces at work: Christ in us the hope of Glory (Colossians 1:27).

If I had listened to society, I would never have graduated with several degrees, including a doctorate from a prestigious institution. I developed a speech impediment in the form of severe stuttering due to trauma in my life, (my grandfather who lived with us was murdered by his own brother), and I lived in world dictated by sexism and racism. My mother worked two jobs, one as a domestic, and the other as an assistant in the state school for the blind. Although she grew up sharecropping, she would go to school at nights and eventually graduate at the age of 50 with her teacher's certificate. At 70 years of age, she is still teaching, so I know a bit about resiliency as I have seen it firsthand. My grandmother raised ten children after she was widowed. My mother, the eldest, picked cotton, took care of his siblings, but still managed to graduate valedictorian from her all-black high school. Like the bee, you and I can listen to the experts or to the one true expert, God, who formed for His purpose and set us before life: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). Bee Hopeful, Bee You, Be Resilient, MJ

Prepare the Soil- Leave the Rain to God

My favorite prophet of all is Elijah. There is a tale of his praying for rain after a three and half-year drought. He closes his eyes and prays to the God of heaven; seven times, he sends his servant to see if any rain has come (1 Kings 18:41-46). I wonder if he knew that it would take seven times? Finally, the servant recognizes a cloud the size of a man's fist. Elijah gets up and girds his garment around his loins and proceeds to run. I, like Elijah, am girding my garment about me and getting ready to run --- to Africa.

God has been speaking to me about the fallow, unprepared ground in my heart.  See,  fallow ground can be considered unused or even unusable land. Trees may be in the field that must be cut down;  nothing can be planted with trees in the way. In addition, our vision is limited, it is hard to imagine what could be if the horizon is obscured.

Even after this work is done, the more difficult work remains- removing the stumps. I have had stumps of bitterness about mistreatment, devaluation, betrayal, and disappointment about the reality I have faced in public education. Those stumps must be pulled out. I thought I was dealing with the issues as they came along- I was- but some stumps were still there. Before going to Africa, all those stumps, have to be removed.

Mark Batterson calls the Word of God the plow that breaks the hardened soil of our ignored hearts.The Lord pulled those stumps out with these words: "But I said, I have laboured to no purpose, I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet, what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with God. For I am honored in the eyes of the Lord and my God is my strength" (Isaiah 49:4-7). O' my soul rest in the Lord- He is your everlasting portion.

Large rocks must be dislodged as well; many times that is done by confession. Just last Sunday, my pastor asked me for forgiveness for how my present church has failed to receive me or support my new mission. This blog entry is my own confession before the larger Body of Christ.

Unused ground must be broken up because it becomes hardened.The hardness in my heart came by hurt in key relationships, lack of support from the body of Christ, ressentments about broken trust, and unbelief that things could change about God promises. Hardened soil can't receive the seed. The seed can't enter the ground; it will likely be eaten by the birds or if it finds a place to lodge, it will spring up quickly and then die. Things that grow well in fallow ground are weeds and thorns (Mark 13:22: Mark 4:19; Luke 8:14).   God pulls the plow through those hardened places, to turn the ground so He can plant seeds because He wants to do a new work. Once, the thorns are dislodged, it is up to me to gather them and burn them: "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:15).

But like everything else, God does not waste this dormant time.  During this period in my life, the ground of  relationships, skill sets, and education have grown a hard crust over them, but they have a  time to settle and to be replenished so that they are even more ready for the growing season. My gifts, rather than diminishing, been allowed to revitalize and gather new strength. This time disengaged from people and endeavors allowed me rest and reflection. 

Christ clearly had shown me a rich orchard full of pomegranates planted in my fiels, but there remained sections of land untilled. The untilled, unprepared land were aspects of my life yet surendered to God's cultivation. See, I know that I have struggled with looking for the rain: Where is the anointing? Where is God? But, God is not asking me to deal with the rain, but to prepare the soil of my heart. He will deal with the rain. Just ask Elijah.

A Farmer-in-Training,
MJ

Crossroads and a Tailspin

 Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem.They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them;  but they were kept from recognizing him. Luke 24:13-16

I am at the crossroads, and I don't know which way to turn. Many things seem apparent, clear, and focused, but now, I am not so sure. I do not know why I am in this situation. I listen, remain compliant, and am faithful. So, I have showed up for an appointment, but no one appears to be here- sorta like the play, Waiting for Godot. Like  a dreidel spun in a child's hands during the Festival of Lights, which end is up? (That's a second blog to accompany this one, so hold that thought).

It's a test, but what kind of test is it? Y'Shua knew that two disciples from Emmaus were despondent and disappointed, so He waited at their crossroads of faith and doubt to reassure their hearts.  He invites Himself into their problem, by pretending that He knows nothing of their turmoil, but isn't it why He is there. He does the same for us today. He sees us struggling for the breath of faith, and He comes and offers spiritual resuscitation.  He asks the same question, "What are you discussing together as you walk along?" (v.17). And then He begins to walk with us, unraveling all our doubts and questions.

As I searched for a picture to accompany this blog, I found not only a picture, but some interesting words from another blog that confirmed what Holy Spirit was already showing me:' As David Runcorn points out in his book Rumours of Life; “The irony is that in the moment they decide to walk away from Jesus, Jesus appears to walk towards them…he deliberately seeks out to two disciples who are walking away from it all..and in drawing the story out of them, Jesus has the unusual experience of listening to his own obituary.”  The blog entitled, "Now you see Me, now you don't?" struck such a cord because it echoed this blog perfectly. When we are about to give up, Y'Shua shows up in the midst of our indecision or doubts of whether our faith in Him has been foolhardy.

See, according to verse 18, their very faces were downcast with their pain and grief, and even though, they could tell about Y'Shua's exploits, and even the report of his resurrection, they still questioned and struggled with the flesh and blood reality before them. Y'Shua rebukes them while on the road, but even his exhortations are not enough to dislodge their fear and despondency:

"He said to them, "How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself." (Luke 24:25-27).

How so like me; I can tell you great things about who Y'shua  is and what He has done for, but notice the disciple's words of doubt, disappointment, and perhaps anger at Y'Shua's reneging: "He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people" (v.18). Hey, I thought He was the Messiah, not just a prophet. Quickly they talked about what others have reported about Y'Shua not being in the tomb, but they do not  appear to be convinced, to hold any belief in what they have heard about Him being alive. When He does not arrive when expected, do I reduce my expectation? Am I afraid to boldly declare who He is for fear that He will fail me or that I will be castigated for making such bold claims?

 According to the same blog, "Oscar Wilde wrote that, 'Once at least in his life each man walks with Christ to Emmaus.'"   So very true. We will all be led to the crossroad of faith and doubt.Wherever you are now, beloved, trust Y'Shua to arrive.

"When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognised him; and he vanished out of their sight.”(Luke 24, 30-31).

Emmaus-bound,
M.J.

POM WONDERFUL

Some think the pomegranate tree is not beautiful. I tend to disagree. Its fine branches filled with beautiful blossoms and its crowned fruit are lovely to behold. I hear and see God's beauty in its unique design. The pomegranate is a mysterious fruit associated with Greek gods, but the God of my life has been showing me truth through this fruit:"Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates With choice fruits, henna with nard plants" (Songs 4:13). God speaks to me: don't listen to detractors or admirers. Listen to Me, for I formed and made you uniquely for my pleasure and service.

I am the pomegranate tree. I have been hidden and covered for my own protection for the pomegranate easily yields to infestation and pest destruction, so it must be covered with unsightly paper bags. Still, the beauty of the fruit of the Spirit can be seen as I am crowned with honor and beauty in the same way the fruit of the pomegranate gains its crown in the summer.

Yet, if the fruit of pomegranate is not picked, it will wither and dehydrate on the branch or its sweet wine will become sap on the ground. Therefore, those tending the pomegranate must pick it from the branches, prepare it for consumption, and reseeding. 

The pomegranate is not cheap, but its every part is useful. Its skin is dried and pounded into a spice used in Indian cooking, the seeds also. Its juice provides healthy and necessary anti-oxidants to defeat the free radicals that age the body and cause disease. The seed is then planted to recreate this precious fruit whose worth is lauded in the Song of Solomon and whose shape was replicated on the hem of the High Priest's robe so that when he entered the Holy of Holies the bells would ring as he walked and allow the other priests to know that He was still alive in God's presence behind the veil. Solomon compares his brides temples to pomegranate halves hidden behind her veil. It is such a beautiful image of Jesus' view of His bride, for He entered the Holy of Holies one time so that we can have complete access to His throne.

To soften the pomegranate, one can rub it against a hard surface. These 44 years have included some hard edges that Jesus, with His gentle scarred hands, has softened through hard experiences and people. After softening the fruit, retracting the seeds is easy now. Softening makes it easy for Jesus to take out the spiritual seeds out of me and plant them in the soil where He chooses. Rabbinical teaching maintains that the pomegranate contains 613 seeds- one for every mitzvot or commandment found in the Torah.

I am not married, so my orchard does not include children of the flesh or a husband.  I have sometimes lamented that fact and been saddened.  Even as I write these words, tears of joy stream down my face as I meditate on God's mercy and grace. This week, I stood in my spiritual orchard with Jesus. It went so far into the horizon that I could not see the end to the trees, the lives, that God had impacted through me. There are trees from Rosenberg/Richmond, TX, Houston, TX, Sherman, TX.,  Evanston, IL., Williamstown, MA, Bowling Green KY, France, Spain, Brazil, Argentina, England, Germany, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Israel, Italy, Portugal, Austria, Nicaragua, Uruguay, Paraguay, Belgium, Switzerland, Denmark,  Luxembourg, Canada and Kenya.

Organizations, churches, schools and kibbutzim have been fertile soil into which to plant God's seed. Their names  echo in my heart as Reba Place, Christ Chapel, Terry High School, Williams College, Northwestern University, Wharton County Junior College, YMCA, YWAM, Servas, Girl Scouts, Chabad House,  Hillel House, Jews for Jesus, CEIA, Mama's House, Rosenberg Rehabilitation Center, Richmond State School, Cambridge Retirement Village, Fort Bend ISD, Lamar CISD, University of Houston System, Belhaven University, Kendall College, Austin College, Living Waters, Black Diamonds, Black Expressions, Fools for Christ, after-school tutoring, Praise Exultation, My Father's House Children's Ministry, Freedom and Destiny, Calvary Baptist, Glad Tidings, Mi Pequeña Luz, ...

When Jesus showed me the trees, I felt a bit like Johnny Appleseed- always on the move and dropping seed, tapping them securely into the ground, and then moving onto the next spot. Sometimes, I would remain in one spot for years and cultivate an orchard like I have done at my present school.
Schools, nursing homes, churches, homeless shelters, entire neighborhoods (Bowling Green, Curitiba, Rosenberg, Sherman), wherever He led me; migrant laborers, immigrants, abandoned elderly, and orphaned children, sexually confused, Jew or Gentile, whatever life He told me to touch - these became my orchard.

There are seasons of healing in our lives just as there are seasons in nature. In the spring, the blossoms from the pomegranate tree fall and provide a red beautiful bridal path. That is the season where I am presently. I have danced and sung my way across 5 continents. As I listen to Jim Croegaert's song about changes, it speaks to my heart. The lyrics say, "Sometimes, we may be lonely; it's hard job making us holy, but in the long run there will be glory, glory to reveal the sun." As I stand back and look over these years, I realize the truth in that song. To God be the glory.

Celebrating 44,
MJ

Give and Take

Probably one of the most famous statements in the Book of Job contains the words 'give' and take." Job announces that the Lord gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord: Baruch Haba Ba Shem Adonai. Those words cut and heal at the same time. Today is my birthday, and I can clearly see relationships, opportunities, and connections that God has both given and taken away. Truly, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21).

Loss of connection and relationship is quite painful and requires self-alteration. Even if the relationship remains, howbeit not in its original form, that also requires adjustment. This year has seen much change in my life. I am in the process of downsizing; that equates to selling my home, car, and most of my provisions to embrace change: full-time international missions.

In order to embrace a new future, I must release the past. But the past means leaving ten years at the same school, my family,  the church families, friends, and my home for ten years that has received much remodeling and work. Even here and now, things and relationships are changing. I am changing.
The Lord gives and He takes away. Blessed Be His name.

His timing is always perfect. When I lay broken on the cement patio in a friend's backyard,  as copious tears ran down my face as I poured out my heart,  God was giving me an inestimable gift, for He allowed me to grieve when my body still held strength. He knew that six months down the road I would be cut from one end to another in major surgery. My body and soul could not face two betrayals at one time.

What I could have perceived as bad timing and lack of care were just the opposite. Abba saw further down the road, and He cushioned the journey.

Beloved, we are all in a season in which God gives and takes away. May you be strengthened as Job was in the midst of his fiery trials to proclaim: Baruch Haba Ba Shem Adonai. Y'Shua says when He hears these words, He comes; He returns to His people, and He saves them.

Changing,
MJ

Your True Heart's Desire

It takes time and refinement for you to know what your true heart's true. What do you do when you have been given a promise, and it has yet come to fruition? In the process of teaching 10 years at the public school, I discovered that my true desire was not to teach at an university.Yet, I used to yearn for that very thing. See, when it says that God will give us the desires of our hearts, it means that there will be a refining process that will reveal the true desires.

Many times, we feel boxed in, but God has purpose for every assignment, even what appears as a lesser assignment. He gave Moses a shepherd's heart with real nasty sheep. God wastes nothing. He confirms our nature and personality to the nature and character of His Son.

We are in process. God loves process. Perhaps, I would never have known my true's heart's desire if I taught at the university. I taught as a substitute and an adjunct professor, and I discovered that my heart is set on creating a school for girls. He has used those years of teaching in the public school for His purposes, to further His kingdom. I realize that the only thing that is going to last  is what I do for God: spiritual collateral- those lives who are saved. No awards, applause, or praise of men will follow me. I have learned that if I am faithful in a little, He will make me ruler over much.

In Process,
MJ

You have Not because You ask Not

How many of God's daughters don't ask their heavenly Father for anything because of their experience with their earthly fathers' lack of care and interest? Don't answer that.  Many times, we, daughters of the King, stop short of what we need. However, we need to push forward and be bold. 

The Old Testament contains an interesting tale about six behold and asked for what they needed. These girls' father had died and left no male heirs. They asked for their inheritance, and God responded gave them, not only what they asked for, but changed how women were treated in Israel forever: “Our father died in the desert.  Why should our father’s name disappear from his clan because he had no son? Give us property among our father’s relatives.” So Moses brought their case before the Lord and the Lord said to him, “What Zelophehad’s daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father’s relatives and turn their father’s inheritance over to them.

God moves the boundaries to bless all Israelite women: “Say to the Israelites, ‘If a man dies and leaves no son, turn his inheritance over to his daughter. If he has no daughter, give his inheritance to his brothers. If he has no brothers, give his inheritance to his father’s brothers. If his father had no brothers, give his inheritance to the nearest relative in his clan, that he may possess it. This is to be a legal requirement for the Israelites, as the Lord commanded Moses.’”

God wants us to ask Him for our true  hearts' desires. He desires for us to trust Him to answer those desires. God does not always  answer our prayers when and how we would like, but He does listen; He does care, and He will answer.

Listen, I am encouraging myself in God's loving nature. I have prayed for 26 years for someone with whom to work in the ministry. I believe God knows the right time, the right person, and when I am ready to embark on this journey with that person. Keep knocking, asking, and believing.

Sometimes, God waits so that He can maximize His glory, so that He can prove the naysayers and the misogynists wrong. He did so with Zelophedad's daughters. Did Zelophedad wonder why he wasn't 'blessed' with sons? (You have got to give him credit for trying six times). God wanted to expand His glory, so that His renown as God of equity and equality would be seen through holy chutzpah of six women.

Just like Jesus would later do with Mary, Martha, and the Samaritan woman, God wrote women into the story in a culture and a time that doing so was unheard of or even imagined.

Here's to chutzpah,
mj

What's in your hand?

God asks Moses,“What is that in your hand?” (Ex. 4:2). God is asking us the same question. He is not asking us about our ability, but availability, not our strength, but our weakness. When we look at ourselves, we see our limits, and not God's omnipresence and sovereignty. That is why God asked Moses what was in his hand. God was not interested in the fact that Moses was a murderer, the former child of Pharaoh's sister, had an interracial marriage, or a speech impediment. God wanted to take who was at the moment and the rod in his hand and deliver His people Israel from bondage.

What did Moses do with that rod? It turned into a serpent that ate up the magicians snakes (Exodus 7:10). Moses used the rod  to split the waters; the Red Sea opened so that God's people could walk out on dry land. Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.  Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. ¹⁷ I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen” (Exodus14:15-18).

Moses led the people in war with the staff: " Moses said to Joshua, “Choose for us men, and go out and fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand” (Exodus 17:9). The rod was the answer to satanic attack; it was the path to deliverance; it was the means of provision. We have all we need to do the work God has sent us to do.

Unfortunately, we can use the tools God has given us inappropriately. Moses did  strike the rock, which represented Jesus, with that very staff. For that offense, he did not enter the Promised Land. Numbers 20: 9:12 states,So Moses took the staff from the LORD’s presence, just as he commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?”  Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.” This story is a cautionary tale and a lesson for who will wield the authority God has given us. It is not our authority; it is God's, and we must always regard Him as holy.

What's in your hand: is it a staff or five loaves and a few fishes? God will use it and multiply for His purposes.

Jesus told Paul that his strength was perfecting in his weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). It is not about us; it is about Him. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that "we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

In His hands,
mj

mj

In the Tombs- An Allegory

She was so full of fear that she preferred to live her life alone than face the pain of rejection and abandonment. She dug her heels in and resisted God because of past disappointments that she had faced. All she had was broken hopes and dreams. Like the man in the tomb, she sat among the littered graveside, scraping her wounds with broken shards of discarded pottery.  Than Y'Shua asked her to trust Him. No person had ever experienced such fear and trepidation.  But one day, after calming her fears and healing her sore wounds, Y'Shua asked her to love someone more deeply wound than she was.

How could He ask such a thing- to leave the quiet of the garden tomb to enter a hell of screeching demons- to involve herself  in a bitter tale of woe? Holding her hands over her ears to keep the screams and moans at bay, she entered the dark dungeon that was literally a cave.  Y'Shua gently removed her hands  from her ears as she cowered beneath the frightful sounds "You must fully feel the misery of this place to love its inhabitant. She countered - "I thought you were bringing someone to love me?" " What is this nightmare?" she questioned. 

Then she saw a person hobbled with chains linked to the cave's walls, covered in thick debris, smut, and soot. The stench that emanated from this human collection of skin and bone was at the least malodorous, and his eyes literally leaped from their sockets. She kneeled before it- still  trembling and disbelieving. She turned to Y'Shua - to question what was the bitter tale of woe in which he had involved her.

But He was gone.

The thing, huddled closer to her and reached out his skeletal hands towards her.  Its touch so light and gentle for a maniac. With no water, she began to wash, with the very tears, from her eyes and water from her lips. Each touch seeming to caress the thing's very soul and his innermost being trembled. Many days continued hence. Suddenly, Y'Shua appeared behind her- hands outstretched. Use this- in the goblet- my blood is poured.Take and drink "

As she and the monster partook of  the communion, a beautiful prince emerged. His shackles fell off, a crown upon his head, and leather shoes in his feet. sinew, muscle, and tendon were held together. He stood erect and powerful. She had been dirtied in the whole process, and  now she was ashamed of her appearance. She held her head down - reproachful of herself. But the prince lifted her chin and looked into her eyes and her very heart rumbled. His words soothed her heart, "For this act of love, God himself anoints you with the oil of beauty for ashes - the oil of joy for mourning."

When he took her hand, to lift her, the rags fell into a heap at her feet. A golden crown appeared on her head. And brilliant raiment- white and gold was around her. A scepter was in her right hand and golden slippers were on her feet.

Y'Shua's voice boomed,  "What you have done to the least of these, you have done to me."
The walls suddenly fell away from the cave, and the fragrant air of the country rushed in.

Hepzibah - Married and Beulah-my Delight in her are her new names. The prince who was a pauper, the grotto a living hill, this story of a nightmare. But God knew its true meaning.

Refiner's Part II

God has two functions in the refinement process of rejection: to increase my love-walk and decrease my fear. Yes, God was refining me through the rejection that I have experienced, but God also was refining the people involved too, although they may not have realized it. There are usually two dancers in a tango, but in a spiritual dance, there are three counting God. Think about the fact that God used Stephen's death to lead to Paul's conversion.

Although I had to choose to wrestle through my disappointment, I never considered climbing back into Abba's arms for a time-out from the body of Christ. Instead, I talked to a wise counselor and poured out my heart. She assured me that I was being promoted. I don't quite like how promotion feels. Oh well. But, I do so love God, and I am gaining His heart for his children, my spiritual siblings.

I want to say that I am a person who can't be cut or wounded, but that would be a lie. Yet, I desperately want to be Christ-like and forgive those who wound me because they are not aware of what they do. I want to be like Jesus who cried, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:24). Or Stephen who asked that God not count his assailants' sin to their account as he was being stoned: "Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep" (Acts 7:60).
Stephen had his eyes on Jesus. It was the same for the prophet Isaiah. He only recognized the Lord in the year that King Uzziah died (Isaiah 6:1). God had been speaking that scripture to me. I needed to get my eyes off the people, my kings, and rest in God.  It is natural to want to be loved and accepted, but when I get my eyes off of God, I have made that person an idol.Whatever I do, I must do it unto the Lord.

I bless God that I did not run from these people or question God's goodness. God's nature is good, and even though I don't understand it, He obviously has a greater purpose in my suffering. As I got quiet, I sensed growth in me, but I recognized a deeper need to trust Jesus in people-trust that God is perfecting them and me. I want to shout with Mary:

My soul glorifies the Lord

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has been mindful

of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed,

for the Mighty One has done great things for me—

holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,

from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;

he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts

Luke 1:46-52

Being Refined,

MJ

Known and Unknown

 The Unknown

 

The unknown is the seat

in the doctor’s office

The unknown is the cyst you discover

As you shower

The unknown is the

darkness of depression

The unknown is the blankness

Of mental illness

The known is the Great Physician

Jehovah-Rapha

The known is the scarred nail-pierced

hands you discover

reaching out toward you

holding you tight and center

The known is the Light, the Way, and

The Truth shining on the path

Through your valley of the shadow

The known is His mind

To bless you

And give you a hope and future

(Jeremiah 29:11)

Remember, Beloved

It is not who you have,

But Who has you

Crazy Quilt

Here  I go again about sewing, well, really quilting.  I am about to enter the mission field on the international level as a single. I am leaving my job, my home, and  my car, all my material possessions as I pursue the dream of building a performance and visual arts school for girls. Ten years after getting a doctorate and teaching public school, none of which makes any sense to my advisers from Northwestern University, I am about to embark on a foray into international missions for the second time. But, God is about to make all this craziness into a beautiful crazy quilt of His will.

I want to make a few proclamations that God will do something miraculous in this season in my life and your life, despite the pain, disappointment, and confusion. I believe that His plan will be accomplished in our lives. He will fulfill his purposes for us, bringing good from the bad. We will not be overwhelmed by evil or crushed by life.  Only God can make sense of the chaos. I expect this season to be the most fruitful because of all the pruning and pain. Pain proves labor and produces growth. There is a season for everything, and God makes everything beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).

Faith and trust are two different things. One can have faith in Jesus’ propitiation, but not trust in God’s character. When we are tested, severely and sorely, that is when the true nature of our trust is revealed.  I am in that hellacious storm at present. Like Peter, Jesus prays that my faith will remain. When things are hard and confusing, is God still good?  This is where the rubber hits the road. No one can answer that question but you.

Each one like Job will be tested and vetted by God if worth his or her salt: "Have you considered my servant?" I am not saying everything bad happens because of God. It does pass through His hands, and he uses it much like he did for Joseph to form character in us. Hey, here's a thought: what if Joseph's coat was really a crazy quilt? Just a thought.

. Just like the quilt, there is meaning and symmetry in our lives even when it looks like madness and randomness. God holds the needle and thread. We see the underside on this side of heaven; from heaven's vintage point, it's all good.

I could be like Jonah and just get on a boat to Tarshish, but then I would end up in the belly of a whale. That wouldn’t be good for this lacto-ovo vegetarian. God told me that if I got on that boat, it would be shattered by an east wind (Psalm48:7).

Feeling Just a Little Crazy,

M.J.

The Briar Patch

What does it mean to be thrown from the wolf’s lair into the briar patch of education? When I landed, so to speak, in public education, I landed with a thud. I had prepared to be a writer par excellence, not a high school French teacher. I accepted the position only after praying. The decision would be tested almost immediately as I was offered a teaching contract at a local college. I knew that God’s word said that we are to honor our vows, so I declined the college position for the contract I had signed with my district. Little did I realize, that the decision ten years ago, would be still affecting my present.

 Since my dissertation was on Br’er Rabbit, I knew that he did not desire to return where the wolf was present. As Br'er Rabbit  boldly proclaimed to his nemesis," the briar patch is where my momma and daddy raised me.” I guess I could say the same. My mother, at the age of fifty, became a public school teacher. She had always valued education highly and caused all of her children to consider it prize as well.  We often played school during her long absence at work. Watching her persevere through many hardships and struggles helped us realize what a true jewel knowledge is really.  Following her example, my brother, sister, and I have all taught in various academic and spiritual settings.

I have gleaned many lessons from the briar patch of education, all of them hard-earned, by the way:  how to discipline, how to be patient, but the greatest lesson is one of purification of motive. I have learned that perhaps what we thought we wanted is not what we want at all.  As I have taught and been taught by my students, I see that I desire altogether different things than I thought ten years. Certainly, I could have tenure by now in some university, but the impact that I would have for the kingdom would not be the same as it has been in this briar patch. I have been given the incredible gift of helping shape students' futures, calling out God’s gifts and hopes for them, and planting eternity in their hearts as they are in the process of becoming their own persons. For that, I am forever thankful.

Psalm 16 holds the central tenets of my life as I have walked through this journey:

5 LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;
   you make my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
   surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
   even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
   With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
 ⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
   my body also will rest secure,
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
   you will fill me with joy in your presence,
   with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

 Still in the Briar Patch,
M.J.

The Winter of My Discontent

My garden is proof that a hard winter is not all it seems to be; without pushing or prodding, or digging or fertilizing, things that should have died and left no remembrance, are inexplicably alive and flourishing. Our lives are like that when placed in God’s hands. If you have been reading my blog for any time, you will understand why I draw an analogy between my life and the season of winter. Like plants, our emotional and spiritual roots can get snowed over. We can become brittle, dry, and seemingly dead and lifeless. Some people may think me foolish when I admit that this year I did not cover any plants at any time during one of the hardest winters to hit the U.S., especially Texas. Yet, God brought back the blooms anyway.

See, I understand very well the temptation to hide under the covers, to shield myself from the elements of betrayal, loss, and grief. But the crazy thing is that by facing this harsh winter in my soul without  protective ‘covers’, I gained resiliency; my roots went down deep. I learned to love others, to move outside by thoroughly black and white; compliant and non-compliant ideology, to embrace people where they lived without judgement- outside of my way of obeying and living for God. In essence, I gained a strength I would have never known if I had done what seemed logical and made utter logical sense. Yet, remaining exposed and vulnerable to pain actually increased my inner strength.  I learned how to forgive and accept myself with the same mercy I offered others.  Old jealousies and insecurities gave way to maturer and healthier thinking and behavior.  The compassion and mercy fruit I have always had were freer to manifest without fear of being taken advantage of by someone who really needed the fruit. There is an old song that says the harder the winds blow, the deeper my faith grows Lord in you.  Stay with me for I want to share some crucial truths from my garden.

Pull off the dead

When faced with sin or dead works that lack  spiritual fruit or the power of God’s initiative, that’s time to dead-head. Pull off the rotten moldy mildewed growth, and start a fresh with a heart swept clean of sin through confession (to a trusted friend - James 5:16) and repentance (to God- Psalm 32 and 56). There is no point in putting good seed in an old mulch bed full of ants and white-rot. Be sure, however, what you are weeding are things and not people.

No roots and it still survived! Yahoo!

Incredibly, I had two antique roses that survived this winter- one without roots. It is a testament to relationships, timing, and purposes that God holds securely in His hands because there is no one else who can keep rootless things and people alive. When we do nothing, God still keeps His promises.

That Impossible Hose!!!

I have several kinks in my hose; that’s annoying, especially because I purchased one of those expensive kink-free ones. The power and supply of the Holy Spirit are available, but often we have a kink in our  spiritual hose as well. We can't seem to get the power from the Source to our lives without interruption.  Sometimes, it gets caught on everything.  The sin nature is like that. It tempts, binds, entangles, strangles, and tries to keep us from God’s best.  Keep an eye out for those booby-traps: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us” (Hebrews 12:1).

Surprise! Surprise!

The fig tree will blossom. This tree was run over by a tractor, but it has come back. Wow! The desert will become a watered garden and all flesh shall see it together (Jeremiah 31:12).  The righteous will declare the marvelous works of God.  Even in the middle of  a painful interlude like a bleak winter, God has promised to breathe afresh on us and awaken new life. According Habakkuk 3:17,

For the fig tree shall not flourish,

And there shall be no fruit on the vines;

The fruit of the olive shall fail,

And the fields shall supply no food:

The flocks shall be cut off from the fold,

And no herds shall be found in the stalls:

Yet in Jehovah will I exult;

I will joy in the God of my salvation

May you flourish wherever God has you planted,
M.J.

P.S. Forget the fig leaves, too!